As I write a new chapter and delve into the next journey, I look back at 2010 (and a bit of 2009) with laughter and pain, fear and fulfillment, the bold intense strokes of memories forever branded into my mind.
In 2010, I managed to --
Travel and wonder alone in one of my favorite cities until I realized that the very essence of the city is lost in depleted wonderment and is nestled amongst good company. What a realization indeed.
Be up about flying in and out, going around in airports and train stations in circles until the thought of travel has left a small dent of weariness within as well as inculcate a smart and light way of traveling. I'm slowly becoming a seasoned traveler/jet-setter.
Sort through the mess of men. Different flavors. Same issues. An "ling" officer. A laid-back model. A tall high-roller. A quirky abstract. An accidental geek. Attended a marine ball. Rode on a scooter complete with wind blowing through hair after doing poems and portraits. Dated over good food, conversations and massages. Rushed through crazy heart-thumping impulsive meetings over serendipity. Jumping off the cliff and fell fast through deep intense connection, intimate sharing over a crazy blast of alcohol, emotions and living life to the fullest. So here I am, discovering one was way off, two was for fun, three was for companionship, four was for swept away, five was...is...crazy, impossible, improbable...but real.
Find my favorite place in China and its name is Qingdao. Where the mountains lie beside the beach-y shores. Where seafood goes with beer street and wine street. Where real trees grow in abundance and the gorgeous old architecture of houses dot the quiet lanes. Where the blue sky stretches so far out across the horizon. Oh and let's not forget good company, the infamous drunken house, and china's version of first class - lounge, seats and meals. That's one place I'd want to go back to.
Work on my painting and cooking skills. People have benefited. Family, friends and five. 3 F's.
Conquer my fear of public speaking and became a lectern. Once or twice a month. With a church full of parishioners well-versed in English.
Become more numb and accepting of how work life really is. In short, you might not like it, and it might be crappy but you bring home the bacon. That's what matters. You work to live not live to work. I put my foot down when I need to and I realized I can be pretty bitchy. Like the dynamic duo used to call me, feisty girl.
Join a cruise. Very relaxing and one of the best times with my family and worse experience of seasickness EVER. To think I usually am ok with all modes of transport, practically sleeping my way through the entire trip.
Witness a solar eclipse and its effect in the city early morning. I saw it through the huge glass cladding of my office window. I bought some cheap glasses for remembrance. Not that I got to use it.
Play and walk around a heavy but soft snowfall. I bunched some snow and threw it around. So fun! I felt like a kid yet I soon discovered the pain of having numb hands that was so fast to becoming not even your own. Yes. Wear the damn gloves. And yes, down is the answer. I love down. I've been meaning to get me Uggs.
Get so drunk enough to not remember a thing with an entire bottle of sochu split for two. I realized sochu can be really lethal and a traitor. Drink with caution and don't feel at ease if you feel nothing at first.
Get so enamored with whiskey after being enamored of wine. Single malt and flowery. I can take four rounds all a-ok.
Go clubbing so much that I got tired of it and the same old same old. Crappy music. Pretentious people. Thick suffocating smoke. Men who are just looking for instant hook-ups. I still prefer going with good friends and especially just chilling in lounging bars instead of the blaring speakers.
Go to the World Expo for 6-7 times. The best part is, enjoying it in the company of good friends and while you're tipsy after rounds of good beer, whiskey, wine and vodka. Saw GMA in person (does that really matter?). Got to take a pic with Cecile Licad. Brushed elbows with diplomatic ambassadors and officials.
Go to VIP events, the type where exotic cars are just parked outside and the Tatler magazine is covering the thing. The salmon sashimi was to die for, the fois gras was something I can take a bite off and not spit it out, and cod fish was so succulent. The women were laced with expensive clothes, perfumes, jewelry and some were gorgeously draped around the arms of men -- established, old, rich, and out for socializing.
Party in Park Hyatt in drunken state with no dinner and five bottles of wine. I never knew whiskey and soda existed in good taste. YUCK. I discovered confusing music the morning after and spending by the pool just lounging can be so relaxing. So is sitting around pillows and blankets with soft candle lights, acoustic music and just conversation in good company. That's after flying lettuces and a countdown timer challenge via excel done from scratch.
Karaoke-d out the KTV establishment 'til 6am. The place closed down and we were still singing along with no music -- just the mp3 playing on someone else's phone.
Discover the best grilled unagi and tasted fresh sashimi carved from a live fish.
Perm, dye my hair. I finally did something to it and "devirginized" it. Styled ala Japanese/Korean fashion. I'll still go back to black...eventually.
Drink almost everyday coz everyday is a friday! See where it got me. After 8 months I'm still falling.
Get sick of two ailments that I've never had in my entire life. Each time though, I was extremely lucky. Five was there to take care of me.
Sleep over a lot and had people sleep over too. Played hooky from work. Shh. Something I've never done before.
Discover the wonders of makeup, of taking care of your skin and hair. I know. I just never bothered with it before, more so if you're about to reach the age of (2+1)*10. And I'm now more scared of getting too tanned. WHA?! Ok. I still love the beach.
Become closer to my dad, sis, JA and accepted the situation of my stepmom. Also became more logical/practical in relationships - family, friends and all of the above. There are no definite black and whites all the time. There's lots of grays. At the end of the day, what matters is the values you choose to hold and keep close to you.
Become more independent and more of a risk taker. Yeah? I walk out alone. eat alone. live alone. sleep alone. Not that I can stand being alone as I also want the company of people I love. But I can survive. I decide where I wanna go. What I wanna do. As for risks, let's just say I've honed my strategic skills a bit.
Find genuine friendship of people from different cultures. People have opened my eyes more. There small influences and then there are huge ones. The most profound I don't think I will ever forget. Whatever happens, I discovered my capacity and my courage, my weaknesses and insecurities. That single word that opened everything still is standing so strong.
Be blissfully happy to be a part of someone's wedding ceremony. Moved to true happiness. They deserve it. Another chapter to one of three couples I've managed to put together. I attended three weddings in a year!
Become closer to God. In a foreign place where values can easily be washed away, all that holds who you are versus the insanity of letting the tides sweep you away is your faith.
Bond with my cousins and play with my nieces and nephews more. Family is family and over the years things have changed and people have grown. What you don't really find ok before can be better now. Girls' night out in manila is not so hard to find. haha.
Watch a major concert by a famous artist in China. Jay Chou. I don't like the guy nor especially fond of his songs but it is an experience. Yeah? I want to watch Lee Hom in concert though.
Ate and sampled meals by Michelin star chefs. Expensive but again, we live only once. After a while it gets boring though. Or I just might lack the taste buds for it. I just want Yamazaki rye bread, succulent shime saba, crunchy smoky grilled unagi, and salty sweet smoked salmon. The street side charcoal grilled gooey sweet potato sounds good too. That or the sticky boiled white corn. Both can keep my hands warm from experiencing -4 winter!
Love so much 'til it hurts and seeps into my bones. Teenage dream. Teenage love all over again. Bellied with reality amidst the dream. And now... I feel like I'm going to shatter into a million pieces. The utter bliss of loving fully comes with a heart-stopping pain enough to make you gasp as you cry it out.
That's all I remember for now. I will try to add more as I go along...but as the 2011 starts, there's a lot in store that much I know. One thing that never changes is Carpe Diem. Live life to the fullest.
Live like you mean it, love 'til you feel it.
- Googoo Dolls
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