Girl friends

I have to hand it to my girl friends. Only now do I realize the treasure of having girl friends close to me. For the longest time I mostly had guy friends. Although guy friends are really cool to hang out and help you get out of trouble and do gentlemanly stuff for you (as well as beating the puny lil guy that broke your heart), they just can't do what girl friends do. Girl friends listen to you, give you a surprise visit with flowers, cook for you and take you around to get your mind off of that puny lil guy (aside from kicking the balls of the puny lil guy that broke your heart).

I've been really sick almost 2 days with no voice and heartbroken but my girls managed to:

1.) visit me even if they live far away and got me comfort food (i.e. chocolates and NY cheesecake)
2.) visit me just to give me flowers and homecooked soup
3.) wore my piggy pajamas and slept over just to keep me company after all that weepy talk (or pantomine)
4.) baked awesome blueberry cheesecake with my favorite 1/3 thick CRUST!
5.) checked up on me every day even if I'm away from the city
6.) took me to hearty dinner at the spanish restaurant that holds one of the special memories of that puny guy. It's called exorcising the ghost of pain.
7.) took me to a foot massage treat
8.) willing companion to go to hospital
9.) received a deluge of medication

Aside from their advice and pep talk, I've a lot to be thankful for for these girls. I don't know how to coast along the jagged start of my new year here in Shanghai if it werent for them. Also my family helps a whole lot. I should be thankful that so many people love me.

Yes, you are not the center of my universe and my life doesn't stop with you. You may not want me, you may not choose me, but people want me, people choose me, people love me. If you don't, then I guess you are not worthy for me to waste my time on.

Just like that I am walking away. I am going to walk away just like that.

Just.
Like.
That.

The deepest pain is not of hatred, but of complete indifference. And this is what I want to happen. I want to be totally indifferent to you. You are nothing. A figmet of the past. Something that I should not dwell on and pour so much emotions, energy and time into. The future awaits me with open arms. I should be ready to run into them.

I will find someone who will love me so much and so fully, someone who is ready for me, someone who will love me and mean it and do it everyday, someone I can love back with the same intensity and laughter.

I may never have the need to throw away my high heeled shoes. I may never have the feeling of being too voluptuous or big framed or too party girl and too down to earth girl.

Anyway, moving forward, I did some groceries this weekend. I'm excited as I've managed to cook some good chinese soup (perhaps cantonese style). I want to try this back home and cook for my dad.

3 Pork bones (cuts for soup stock)
3 Chicken bones (wings)
1 cup white fungus, soaked in water and cleaned
2 tbsp chinese almonds
2 fragrant pears, sliced thinly
6 dried jujube (small to medium sized)
1/2 fresh corn in cob, cut into two pieces
1/2 cup dried scallops, cleaned and soaked a bit in warm water
Salt
Water

1.) Boil bones until froth comes out. Drain the bones.
2.) Turn heat to low-medium and place a pot filled with water.
3.) Put everything in and let it boil slowly in low-medium heat.
4.) Cook for 2-3 hours until fungus becomes soft and slippery, broth becomes a bit thick and yellowish cloudy. Season with salt to taste.

It's tasty, filling and good when piping hot! :)

Tonight I will try cooking some kale leaves with ginko nuts and golden mushrooms. All of a sudden I really wanna learn how to cook chinese food. Sigh. I already forsee that I wanna try all these recipes when I'm back home. I can't wait to go back.

I'll be going home this Chinese New Year and have also booked a trip to India. This will be a good opportunity for me to party, relax and forget about what happened to me the past year...i mean six months. Manila has some very pretty people and I realize the values that I seek in partner are really from the ones back home.

The climb is arduous but I will get there! I see the sunlight from the hole. With the puny guy, we've managed to dig so deep a hole, so long a tunnel. I'm finally getting out of that hole and into the sunlight as I should be. I will leave this mess behind and fly free.

Just watch me.